i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
