TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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