its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
