i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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