I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
