she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
