Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize