At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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