these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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