oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
false alarm, still single
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
