wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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