i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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