i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
