we have officially lost it.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
