I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
