READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
