Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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