when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
