Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
