I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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