i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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