I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
