I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
