i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
