I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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