You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
