16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
