wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
