I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
