she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
