I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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