Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
