I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have tasted many bathrooms
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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