I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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