just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
