OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
