were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize