She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize