Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
