Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
