He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
