You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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