My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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