im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
