i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
