yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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