I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
