Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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