I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
