Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
