Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
