Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
