i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
