you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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