Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
wanna go halves on a baby?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
