what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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