Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
