we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
