Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
