He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize