garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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