i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
