So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
