Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
