best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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