i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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