He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
