She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
