Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
