When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
