I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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